I’m the only daughter in my tiny little family of two fathers and one mother. ( before you get the horses in your mind running, the members are my mother, my father and my father’s elder brother whom I lovingly called Thuji and no he wasn’t involved in the 2G scam!)
So you can only fathom how I felt when we had to undergo an open heart surgery for my father. I say we, because a surgical procedure is never alone the patient’s, it is also the loved ones of the family who are deeply affected.
As I walked into the hospital on that fateful Monday morning, I had steeled myself. I knew the coming 21 days were going to be the toughest of my life and I’d decided that I would be graceful, patient and display utmost tolerance towards everyone and everything – and the resolve lasted, a total of 3 mins.
There was no room available and this was just the start of the ordeal. We had to brave the crowd for about 2 hours and you know what helped me go through those 2 hours – my friends. My pillars of strength and my sighs of relief. Every time I hyperventilated, I felt a hand of reassurance on my shoulder. Every time I panicked, there was someone I could hug and deep breathe.
But the hardest part was yet to come. I had to walk with my mum when Ba was wheeled into the operation theater. I could pass on fortitude to Mumma, who welled up and broke down while we were watching Ba being wheeled into the OT only because I knew I had my 2 pillars waiting outside, in front of whom I could express my extreme nervousness. Those 9 hours of the surgery were the toughest of my life, which I could sail through because we were laughing hand cracking jokes- all my loved ones together. The last 1 hour was possibly the toughest of the toughest, and it was all credit to my friends that I didn’t have a nervous breakdown.
And after the surgery, they called us in. They’d promised us a glimpse of Ba, and my God, that was what tested my grit – Unconscious father, on the ventilator, a zillion tubes emerging out of his body – but I didn’t shed a single tear. Thanks to my doctor friends who had counseled me for several hours and prepared me.
This phase in my life taught me a thing or two about friends. There are several kinds –
A. There’s the kind that sits with you (even if they’re not physically present) , through thick and thin. They read your eyes and your voice. They’re family
B. There’s the kind that asks if you want them to be present. You would need to tell them what you need. They’re great friends
C. There’s the kind that calls and/or texts and finds out if everything’s okay. They want to genuinely find out what’s happening. They’re friends
D. There’s the kind that doesn’t do anything. I don’t understand them. They’re probably acquaintances, or something?
When the going in life gets super tough, you need your family and friends turned family closest to you so that when the going is awesome, you all can celebrate together.
Do you know anyone who needs you today? Decide what you want to be. And be there! It means a lot. Ask me.
P.S – the picture here was taken in the hospital. One can always have more than one heart 😉